Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
