I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize
