eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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