of course. lets lasso hookers.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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