Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
