your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
