It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Randomize
