the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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