Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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