I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
foreskin is a definite game changer
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
