hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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