I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
