I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
smell my finger.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Randomize
