Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
