Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
