lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize