Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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