i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
