Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
