cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize