i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
