I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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