never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
