I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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