how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
