If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
