The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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