real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
