Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
