Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
