toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
i think im in europe. pls send help
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
