It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize