Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
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I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Just pee around me
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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