When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
