no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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