Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
