if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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