It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
