i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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