I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵