wanna go halves on a baby?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Randomize
