what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
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I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
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that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream