Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant

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(212): I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant http://tfl.nu/ncxa

Replies (9) Good night (855) Bad night (1435)
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(239): View more from Florida

At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.

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(239): At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit. http://tfl.nu/fc4g

Replies (35) Good night (9216) Bad night (807)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.

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(215): I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart. http://tfl.nu/liah

Replies (22) Good night (7136) Bad night (1191)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.

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(307): first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester. http://tfl.nu/skng

Replies (14) Good night (6121) Bad night (1236)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.

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(403): I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway. http://tfl.nu/xqv3

Replies (8) Good night (1397) Bad night (3649)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.

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(403): Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed. http://tfl.nu/yrbs

Replies (7) Good night (1043) Bad night (1685)
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(734): View more from Michigan

They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.

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(734): They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you. http://tfl.nu/tuzf

Replies (5) Good night (2453) Bad night (938)
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(302): View more from Delaware

Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?

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(302): Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk? http://tfl.nu/2gxv

Replies (5) Good night (677) Bad night (1470)
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(240): View more from Maryland

She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...

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(240): She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room... http://tfl.nu/pp22

Replies (2) Good night (703) Bad night (1100)
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(949): View more from California

the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?

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(949): the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real? http://tfl.nu/2sta

Replies (2) Good night (1811) Bad night (424)
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(559): View more from California

I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon

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(559): I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon http://tfl.nu/fvut

Replies (0) Good night (524) Bad night (653)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.

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(843): Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well. http://tfl.nu/pwpy

Replies (3) Good night (1520) Bad night (526)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"

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(918): The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo" http://tfl.nu/4ubw

Replies (3) Good night (500) Bad night (323)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything

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(603): Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything http://tfl.nu/pfkq

Replies (5) Good night (414) Bad night (896)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...

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(860): I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks... http://tfl.nu/cacu

Replies (1) Good night (424) Bad night (236)

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