seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
