you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
