what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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