I am in a vortex of obligation.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
