how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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