Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
My ATM looks so different sober.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize
