i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
The feeling are messing with the penis
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
