I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
