Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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