Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
