My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
