I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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