It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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