Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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