I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
