We're like a lot better than the average bears
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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