too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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