On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Randomize
