with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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