These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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