we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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