your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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