I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
No more Irish car bombs ever.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I have fence marks all over my body
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
