I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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