return my video game
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
