am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
