i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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