what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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