You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
operation harelip BJ is a go
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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