I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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