Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize