if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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