y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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